Alexi Lalas – Ginger Troll, or Trolling Ginger?

Hey Alexi, don’t take this the wrong way, but it’s a Friday afternoon, and you’re arguing with a professional soccer team about philosophy. Over the Internet.

Actually, I take it back. You’re arguing about WHO created the philosophy. And about whether it’s portable or not. And if there’s a posted link where you can see it.

Are you bored right now? Does ESPN not have enough work for you to do right now? Did you clear out your inbox early enough that you’re looking to create more work?

It’s Friday! Leave early. Go be with your kids. Get some ice cream. Run an errand. Surprise the family and bring home dinner. Hit up a happy hour. There’s gotta be a bunch of other things you could be doing right now than pointing your Internet sword at another Internet sword.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m actually a fan of yours. But I figure you at least have a rolodex. Make a phone call. Ask for a fax. Maybe the philosophy is more than just a word doc or a tumblr post. Maybe it’s a state of mind. Maybe it’s in the hearts of little kid soccer players everywhere. Maybe it’s like Jesus. You don’t know, and odds are good you don’t need to know.

2013 was an unexpectedly good year for us. We’re not used to it, and we’re still cautiously optimistic going into 2014. One thing I think I can say on behalf of all Timbers fans [officially] nobody except myself is that sometimes a little faith in the unknown is a good thing. We don’t know the recipe behind what Caleb Porter’s cooking, but we’re OK with that because we love what he’s been serving up. Maybe there’s a difference between how supporters and broadcasters approach the beautiful game, but we’re still on the same side here, which just happens to be on the outside looking in.

We get it, you’re an accomplished player with great access around the league. Nonetheless, just because someone doesn’t share something with you doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. If you’re dying to know the Timbers’ philosophy, put down the mic and join the coaching staff.

On second thought, please don’t. We prefer you in the broadcast booth, where we can assume you’re rolling your eyes at Kasey Keller non-stop.

This is an opinion piece and does not necessarily reflect the opinion of the 107ist or the TA.

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4 Responses to Alexi Lalas – Ginger Troll, or Trolling Ginger?

  1. Mike Pacific says:

    Welcome back! #blamebrawley

  2. J. Wright says:

    Alexi doesn’t realize this but the Army and Timbers fans will repay and remind him of this throughout the season whenever he waxes eloquent about his soccer philosophy and prognostications. “What does this mean, Lalas?” “Is this an opinion you have held throughout your broadcast career or just a blinding flash of Lalas insight?” “You have a link?”..,

  3. matt g says:

    Accomplished player is a bit of a stretch, he was garbage and all talk, no substance.

  4. SJ.Miller says:

    Pints Up Portland…Come on!
    #whoosh
    #itsajoke

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