TA Do’s and Don’ts

It’s home opener week. We got lots of information to share this week. Spread the word!

Sunday: Do’s and Don’ts
Monday: Tifo 101 + the National Anthem
Tuesday: Guide for First-Timers
Wednesday: Guide for Veterans
Thursday: Game day!

The home opener’s almost here. Here’s a quick list of do’s and don’ts for anyone who may be new (or needs a refresher) to the Timbers Army scene. We’ll elaborate more throughout the week.

DO…

  • plan to have fun within the realm of common sense.
  • recognize that we stand, yell and sing throughout the entire match. You might miss a sweet pass here or there, but you’ll see it on Fox 12, Tivo or YouTube later that night. Wayne Garcia will make sure of it!
  • contemplate the fact that you might have no voice at work/school the following day.
  • grab a chant sheet from the 107ist booth (or print one here) and learn them all.

DON’T…

  • throw anything onto the pitch (a.k.a. the field). We consider this a major sign of disrespect toward our players and the game itself. Plus, it will get you thrown out by JWF security. (Click here for a complete set of rules at JWF.)
  • scream ‘YSA’ during opponent’s goal kicks. It’s childish, unoriginal, pointlessly obscene, and just makes us look dumb. If it’s wildly popular in Seattle, chances are good that it’s no longer cool. We’ve moved on…you should, too. (Case example: watch this video. It’s not even shot at an upright angle. Total amateurism.)
  • yell “F*ck Seattle” during the non-vocal break of the “Heeeeeeeeey Portland Timbers!” chant. Again, it’s unoriginal, pointlessly obscene, childish, and practically a given sentiment. Some proposed alternatives are:
    • “We-Sa-lute-You!”
    • clap-clap-clap-clap
    • cowbell-cowbell-cowbell-cowbell
    • silence-silence-silence-silence
  • spill beer, whether it’s yours or someone else’s. It makes the ground sticky. It ruins clothes. It can cause fights. It turns a good time into a bad time. Plus, you paid $7 for it!
  • bring vuvuzelas (those annoying horns from the 2010 World Cup). Not only is it against JWF policy, but sneaking one in and using it will likely get it taken away and broken in half over a knee, even if your child is carrying it. It won’t be us that made him cry, it’ll be you, the bad parent.

Tomorrow, details on tifo participation, and what will be most awesome performance of the National Anthem EVER!

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12 Responses to TA Do’s and Don’ts

  1. Roger Anthony says:

    THANK YOU for calling out the preservation of “Heeeeeyyyyy Portland Timbers!” That chant is far too cool to have to stop using because of an unorginal vocal minority.

  2. Sarah Figliozzi says:

    Also you can bike to the game and profit from one of the 500 bike parking spaces on SW 18th or SW Morrison St.

    • Andrew Brawley says:

      Fully agree with you Sarah, but I left transportation issues out since those apply to more than just the TA. Hopefully EVERYONE knows to take alternative transportation to every match this year.

  3. Do:

    Wave flags during certain chants and points in the match.

    Don’t:

    Get mad when a flag blocks part of your view sometimes. It’s easier for you to move a little bit than the flag.

  4. # 11 says:

    Do: CLAP, JUMP & SIGN FOR VICTORY!!!

    Dont: Stay quiet when everybody else is CLAPPING, JUMPING & SINGING FOR VICTORY!

  5. Logan says:

    Do: Pogo, especially during the Stuttgart chant
    Don’t: Feel embarrassed for pogoing. Ever.

  6. Nick Brock says:

    Possible addendum: If you do spill someone’s beer or spill beer on someone (hey, accidents happen!), offer to buy a beer as a peace offering..

  7. Don’t get mad at capo’s they pay for their ticket just like you and don’t watch most of the game to support the atmosphere in the north end. Just because they don’t do it at West Ham/Leeds doesn’t mean we don’t do it here.

  8. brandon says:

    Do: Alert an usher if someone sneaks a vuvuzela into the park.

    Don’t: Ever take it upon yourself to enforce a rule. Its recklessm, dangerous, and pretty much stupid. Plus I’m willing to bet if you took someone’s vuvuzela and broke it, not only would you get thrown out as well, but you could be charged with theft, destruction of property, assualt or menacing depending on how you took it, and even sued by the person who brought it in. Let JWF staff do their jobs.

  9. Pingback: Timber Bits – 2 Days to Go | Portland Timbers MLS Blog - Dropping Timber

  10. Rock says:

    Good on you for not supporting the YSA chant. ECS as a group does not support the use of that chant for exact same reason. The rest of Qwest is a different story.

    See you guys in May. Enjoy your home opener!

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